When all else fails: breathe
We’ve all been there. That moment when something hard has to be done. It’s uncomfortable. Perhaps there are unpleasant sensations arising - tension across the chest, a tightness in the throat, a mean-sounding inner critique, and and ache in the legs. And then a realisation - your breathing has stopped.
It happens when we experience pain - like at the physical therapist as she releases a muscle knot. When we anticipate something frightening - like the climaxing scenes of a horror film. It happens when we are preparing to speak in front of our work colleagues, or about to deliver difficult news. It happens in the middle of the 1-minute plank that our Pilates instructor promises is going to end any second now. We hold tight, we still our body, we contract, and we wait.
And we completely forget to breathe.
What happens in the next moments, as we return to the breath? A deep slow sigh, or a large and loud exhalation. There’s a kind of release, and letting go of tension.
Our breath is one of the most powerful and accurate barometers of our inner-world. Just for a moment conjure up the sweet-soft breathing of someone sleeping peacefully, and contrast that with the image of someone who has just sprinted 100m across the track. Can you visualise someone who is speaking with confidence in front of a group, versus someone who is nervous, and perhaps not projecting well. How does the person in each image appear to breathe?
Have you ever tried to synchronise your breath with someone? Maybe you’ve experienced breathing together with classmates in a yoga class, or you’ve leant with your back against a partner or friend and felt your chests rise and fall in synergy with one another?
The power of the breath is an incredible thing.
It is the only physiological process that happens completely automatically and is also completely under our conscious control. Just think about that for a moment.
We have the capacity to tap into our breath, which is the direct link to our nervous system, and has immediate and long-terms effects on our hormones, immunity, sleep, cognition, metabolism and biome. Yes, all of it.
There’s another whole blog article I will write soon which covers this in much more detail - so for now, take these things as they are. We’re here to talk about self-regulation using the breath on this page.
There’s a world of ancient wisdom, and an emerging modern scientific base for using breathing exercises as a tool for nervous system regulation. Yoga pranayama exercises are deeply prescriptive and are recommended daily for health and wellbeing. Modern clinical breathwork practitioners are trained to help people restore normal health respiratory function, and to learn how to practice targeted exercises to remediate issues. Both schools understand how we can use the breath to regulate ourselves (and also how poor breathing patterns can have a deleterious effect on health).
And when we strip it all back - this isn’t news to us. We all know how powerful it can be to take a moment, stand or sit up, and do three full rounds of deep, slow breathing. It regulates the heart rate, reduces blood pressure, improves gas exchange in our lungs and signals to our brain that we are safe and in control of ourselves. That is power right there!
So the invitation here is to explore how to use breath for good, when all else fails.
Next time you find yourself in that hard situation. Check in on your breath, and maybe just maybe one of these exercises can help you find your centre axis, stabilise and carry on.
Falling breath - inhale deeply through your nose. Pause 3 seconds. Exhale through soft pursed lips for 7 seconds. Repeat this 10 times.
Balanced breath - inhale in/out your nose. Inhale in for 4 seconds. Pause 2. Exhale for 4 seconds. Pause 2. Continue for 10-20 rounds.
Square breath - inhale in/out your nose. Inhale for 5 seconds. Hold for 5 seconds. Exhale for 5 seconds. Pause for 5 seconds.
Vocalised Sighs - take a deep inhale nose. Exhale mouth and make a long deeply vibrating “aaaahhhhhh” sigh until all your air is empty. Repeat 4-5 x until you feel relaxed. **This is a great exercise to do with a partner/support person. Hug firmly and practice the exercise at the same time, enjoy each others gentle chest vibrations and the co-regulation.
Shake-off - find a quiet space where you won’t disturb anyone and you can express fully. Stand tall, inhale deeply through your nose and raise your arms overhead. Swiftly exhale mouth and make a loud “HAH” sound as you sweep your arms downwards to your hips and allow the body to softly follow the arms to move energy. Repeat this 10x. **Take care of your body and only move as much as feels safe.